Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
