This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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