I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
