I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
