so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
