Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
