Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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