I'm lost and stupid without you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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