It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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