i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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