my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize