We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Drunk is not a location!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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