Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
