Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
