Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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