i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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