i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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