There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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