I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
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Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
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2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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