Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
