I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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