His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
