We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How does one acquire holy water?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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