well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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