Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's shark week go big or go home
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
