I accidentally burped into my bong.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
