But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
