I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
