Your tits are I can't wait for
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
