You can't special order awesome
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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