She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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