We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
