Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
