chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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