Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
