I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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