I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sext me about skeletons
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
