it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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