I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
as a side note pls kill me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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