Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
