Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
love makes seman taste better
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
