I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
