That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
