I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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