I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
