Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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