Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize