question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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