At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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