OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
