Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
