It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He shit in the fireplace
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
