Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
