its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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