we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
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sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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