yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
