Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
