guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize