You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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