I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
