We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
