She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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