I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
