man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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