i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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