Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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