what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
