Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My feet surprised me
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