this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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